Morning Darkness

I sit looking out into the early morning darkness. A small section of sky is visible above the garage through the limbs of the stone pine tree. The firmament is a dark blue waiting for dawn. I just heard a neighbor's truck go past. There are not other sound outside this morning.

The morning darkness fills the city. I know that somewhere down town or on the strip their are lights and people going from casino to casino. This is a 24/7 city, it never sleeps; even in the predawn darkness there is gambling, CAT buses circling their routes, people getting up, making breakfast and going to work. Las Vegas never sleeps, it never shuts down, and it never stops.

Las Vegas is like a perpetual motion machine, it's rhythm changes and the pace slows, but it never stops moving. There is always something going on somewhere in the city. A person doesn't have to be lonely in his or her room. You can go out into the city and be lonely in a crowd.

The morning darkness seems to bring these thoughts to the front of my mind. The morning darkness will soon give way to first light, then to dawn and then the full daylight. However, loneliness isn't that easy to disperse especially in a city that remains active twenty-four hours a day, three hundred and sixty-five or three hundred and sixty-six day of the year.

There is an old song that ask the eternal question: Where are all the lonely people? If they are in Vegas then they're probably somewhere in a crowd waiting in the early morning darkness for someone to scatter their loneliness.

A Beautiful Windy Day

4 Mashiyyat 164 B.E. - Saturday, September 29, 2007 about 7:13 PM PDT

It was a beautiful windy day in Las Vegas. This morning, when I took the trash to the curb, I felt the wind chill factor. It felt chilly, I wanted to come back in the house and find a sweater, but I didn't have time. The wind blew all day cooling the city at least five degrees.

I didn't catch the weather this morning and I didn't read the weather reports that come to my e-mail box, so I don't know if there was a red flag warning or not. A red flag warning this time of year doesn't surprise me. In the mountains the underbrush is dry, dead or dying. The fire danger is high and when a wild fire starts it spread quickly.

In the valley the wind was nice and cool, the central air unit didn't come on all day. It's nice when the central air unit doesn't come on because that means the electric bill won't be as high. Unfortunately, it's been on a lot this year and this September. Right now I'm contemplating turning the unit off all together, at least that way the power bill will go down. I'm not sure we need the unit on this time of year anyway.

I have to call the service people Monday and arrange for them to come in for the fall check. I don't remember getting a card, so maybe the unit's service isn't due until the end of October. The come in twice a year for free and make sure it's running properly. I'd like to get a permanent air filter for the unit. Those filters cost about $100, but they're worth it. All you have to do to clean them is take them outside once a month and turn the hose on them. That's a lot better then changing the filter once a month or once every three months.

Interfaith Forum 2007 Schedule

2 Mashiyyat 164 B.E. - Friday, September 28, 2007 about 1:45 PM PDT

The first panel is scheduled for Sunday, October 14, 2007. The topic is Religion: Peaceful or Violent? The second on Sunday, October 21, Spiritual Stories from My Religion. The third on Sunday, October 28, Is There a Spirituality of Money? The fourth on Sunday, November 4, Eco-Spirituality. On Sunday, November18, an Interfaith Thanksgiving service is scheduled.

These forums are all ways educational and the fellowship portion is friendly, with good things to eat. I'm looking forward to attending all the forums and the thanksgiving service on November 18.

Morning Writing

1 Mashiyyat 164 B.E. - Thursday, September 26, 2007 about 8:06 AM PDT

It's a crisp morning here in Las Vegas, I'm not as stressed as I've been in the past few months. I didn't get up as early as I wanted to this morning, but I'm going to work on that for the rest of Mashiyyat. I may have to reconsider my waking up times. I get up before the alarm goes off, come into the living room and sit down on the couch and doze until the alarm goes off. Then sit back down on the couch and doze a bit more, which is probably why I didn't get the trash out yesterday.

I haven't decided whether mornings, evenings or afternoons is better for me to write. During Mashiyyat I'll see what I complete during those time without stressing. I have several writing projects going, but I'm just going to focus on a day by day basis instead of project by project. I'll wait until 19 Mashiyyat (October 15) to see how that works. It takes about two weeks to get a new habit going, so I ought to have pretty much overcome some of my procrastination by then. I'm not saying this is a problem that can be over come in a short amount of time, but it is possible to overcome it with prayer, persistence and enthusiasm.

I know that some writers work better of a morning, while others have different times of the day to write. There was a time when I thought morning writing was my thing, but I'm not sure now, my muse could be an afternoon or evening muse. I'm going pray and meditate on this subject and see what I comes to mind. In the mean time I'll just write whenever I get the chance, it's possible my muse has not set time to work, but just works whenever she takes the notion. Exploring the myth of the muse and why they are all considered female sounds interesting and educational.

Seven Months of Stress

19 'Izzat 164 B.E. - Wednesday, September 26, 2007 about 3:26 PM PDT

Seven months of stress is getting to me. My mother went into the hospital in March of 2007, she's been in and out of the hospital and rehab ever since (she needs to learn how to use her legs again). I'm doing the housework by myself (at this point even if I could get help, I don't think I want it any more) and attempting to unclutter my life. I'm not even sure right now what point I'm attempting to make in this entry. I think I'm only attempting to get my thoughts straight right now.

Any way after all the stress, tests and difficulties, I come to realize that there is only one thing I want to do. I want to write. I want to write poems. I want to write stories. I want to write essays. I want to write articles. I want to write blog posts. I want to write journal entries. I've come to this conclusion, I've also realized that a writer without readers is like a three course dinner without anyone to eat it. I'm not sure I have any readers in this or my other blogs. Therefore, I going to focus for the next nineteen days (September 27 to October 15) on increasing readership in this blog.

If anyone is reading this and the other entries, please leave a comment or e-mail me at either nfdarbe@intermind.net, nfdarbe@yahoo.com, or nfdarbe@writing.com. Let me know what you think, I know I'm probably opening a can of worms here, but that's the way it'll be. The only problem I see right now about opening a can of worms is what to do with the little creatures. Since I don't fish and have not garden for them to live in I'm not sure what I'll do with them. So much for my attempt at humor.

I have other blogs that can be accessed from this one, at least I think all the other three are accessible from Poet 999's Thoughts about Writing and Other Stuff; if they aren't, they will be within he next few days. I am a writer and I need readers. The only way I can see to get the readers is to find ways to increase hits to this blog and the only one that can do that is me. So I'm going to do it.

Interfaith Forum Ground Rules

A few days ago I posted an entry about the Interfaith Forums 2007 so today I'm posting the ground rules. We could all learn from these rules when dealing with other religions. The rules are written in such a way that they encourage discussions rather than arguments.

Enlightenment rather than proselytizing encourages education. There are many things that the various religions have in common. One of the most important thing that all religions share is the Golden Rule. The Golden Rule is phrased differently by the various holy books and religions, but it means the same thing - Treat others the way you want them the treat you.

These Interfaith forums encourage people to practice the golden rule. They reveal both the things each religion has in common with the others and the differences. They encourage respect for other religions. These forums are fun to attend and educational. I would encourage everyone to attend one or all of the forums possible. I know I'm going to attend as many as I can. I'll post more about the up coming schedule in a few days.

A Nice Fall Morning

18 'Izzat 164 B.E. - Tuesday, September 25, 2007 about 7:19 AM PDT

It's a nice chilly fall morning here in Las Vegas. I sit on the back patio and said one of my morning prayers and the air felt cold. If I'm going to pray and meditate on the patio of a morning, I'm going to have to wear something warmer. I haven't turned on the heat yet because, despite the chill in the morning air, it's still too early in the season to have the heat on. I may turn the air off completely if it stays cool during the day for the next week or so.

It's nice to feel a chill in the air for a change. It wakes you up and gets the blood flowing in your veins. I got up at the same time I usually get up even if I did turn the alarm off yesterday. I turned the alarm back on so in the morning I'll wake up to a male voice echoing through the house. I think I'm going to have to change the channel on the radio to a music station or at least a station with a different morning talk show. I'm getting a bit tired of the negative talk the host puts out. I need something a bit more positive in the morning.

In yesterday's post I said I had a full day. I have a full day planned for today as well. I have to go to the bank before it closes tonight so Mom can withdraw the co-pay for her doctor's appointment tomorrow. Then tomorrow evening is the Feast of Mashiyyat, I've set up an excel calendar so that it shows only the nineteen days of Mashiyyat with the October calendar dates as well. This helps when it comes to posts and keeping appointments.

Full Day

18 'Izzat 164 B.E. - Monday, September 24, 2007 about 7:45 PM PDT

It's been a full day although I didn't get a lot done. I'm not using my time wisely or maybe it's just difficult for one person to get everything done in a single setting. Lately it seems that everything is working against me, including myself. Complaining isn't going to do any good and it just makes matters worse.

I think I just need to change the way I go about doing housework. Pick one room focus on it and complete it then move on to the next. I know there has to be a way to get everything done, maybe not in one day, but in two or three.

Today we went to get Mom's weekly blood test and while we were in the area (Flamingo & Eastern) rescheduled two appointments that were counseled because she was in the hospital and made one with her regular doctor. When I'm out doing errands I seem to be able to arrange the stops so that we get several things done in one area. So why can't I arrange housework and business work similarly? I'm not sure that this post makes any sense at all.

Perhaps working at home was not a good idea, but I have no other choice at the moment. Perhaps I just need to stop worrying, place the entire situation in God's hands and get on with what needs doing. You'd think that after 60 years I'd have my life situation on a stable basis spiritually, financially, and physically. Of course, since a person grows spiritually through tests and difficulties, maybe what I'm going through now is just a clearing of deadwood from the path my soul is taking.

Autumnal Equinox

It's the first day of Fall, the sun crossed the Autumnal Equinox at 9:51 this morning. The word "Equinox" comes from "æquinoctium" a Latin word that means "equal night" because both the day and night are 12 hours long. The equinox, which occurs twice a year (Fall and Spring), has significance in many religions.

Other names for the Autumnal Equinox are the First Day of Autumn, Alban Elfed, Autumn Equinox, Cornucopia, Feast of Avilan, Feast of Dionysus, Harvest Home, Harvest Tide, Mabon, Night of the Hunter, Second Harvest Festival, Wine Harvest, and Witch's Thanksgiving (http://www.religioustolerance.org/fall_equinox.htm).

All these name and the way the day is celebrated requires a bit more research. There has got to be some interesting myths behind the celebration of the Autunmnal Equinox. I have no doubt that some of those myths can lead to some interesting poems and short stories. I also have to remember when writing science fiction that all cultures have their seasonal celebrations and to put some sort of celebration into the story or novel. This could lead to some very interesting plots.

Interfaith Forums 2007

16 'Izzat 164 B.E. - Sunday, September 23, 2007 about 12:13 AM PDT

It's that time of year again, when The Interfaith Council of Southern Nevada hosts the Interfaith forums. On Saturday, September 22, we received the fly about this years forums. The topics for the panel discussion sound interesting and educational.

1. Religion: Peaceful or Violent? - October 14
2. Spiritual Stories from My Religion - October 21
3. Is There A Spirituality of Money? - October 28
4. Eco-Spirituality - November 4

The discussions are being held at various locations through out the Las Vegas valley. Since these forums are held at different places of worship, it is a good chance to see various houses of worship. These forums enhance a person's understanding and respect for other religions and beliefs.

Each of the panelist prepares a short talk on the topic. There is a question and answer period in which audience members can ask questions and the panelists answer. The questions are submitted in written form and are divided into questions for specific panelists or for the entire panel. As many questions are answered as possible during the time allotted for this. After the discussion there are usually some type of refreshments.

I attempt to attend the panel discussion every year. I'm planning on attending this year as well. Clicking on the title of this entry will redirect you to the Council's Web site and more information about the forums.

I've never seen his face.

Daily Writing Practice Prompt for August 10, 2007: I've never seen his face.

NOTE: This is the beginning of a science fiction short story. Right now the Working Title is I've never seen his face.

"I've never seen his face," C.C. said as she studied the expression on her sister's face.

"But you're his secretary," May drank the last drop of coffee in her cup, then signalled the waitress for a refill.

"I'm not his private secretary," C.C. paused as the waitress filled both their cups. "Only she goes into his office. My job is to make coffee, type letter, schedule appointments and run interference."

"Run interference?"

Yes, May, I direct sale people and anyone without triple A clearance to the department heads and other staff members."

"So that means that the rumors about what ... about his looks are probably true."

"May," C.C. said shaking her head, "you shouldn't listen to rumors. Especially those spread by that bunch in the mail room."

"Why?"

"Because it always gets you into trouble."

"C.C." her sister smiled condescendingly, "could you get me a triple A clearance ID?"

"No, little sister, I'm not going to jeopardize my job for you and some wild speculation about Mr. L. being from some planet orbiting Wolf 359."

"But ..."

"But nothing, May, go back to work and reign in your over active imagination."

53% (Dixie). Barely into the Dixie category.

15 'Izzat 164 B.E. - Saturday, September 22, 2007 about 12:01 AM PDT

This is a fun quiz http://www.angelfire.com/ak2/intelligencerreport/yankee_dixie_quiz.html. It is purely for entertainment and is based on the Harvard Computer Society Dialect Survey. The quiz is a good way to relax and have fun. I did encounter some words and phrases I've never heard before. I'm going to have to look those up and see what they mean.

Some of the words apparently refer to the night before Halloween and sound like they would be good titles for flash fiction or a short story. There were other words and phrases I'd heard before, which also sound like they would be good themes for poems or essays. I'll have to try the words to see what I can come up with. Click on the title of this entry and you will be redirected to the quiz.

Words to Use in Poems, Stories, or Essays

1. Devil's Night
2. Mischief Night
3. Cabbage Night
4. Rummage Sale
5. Yard Sale
6. Garage Sale
7. Tag Sale
8. Sub
9. Hoagie
10. Grinder
11. Hero
12. Crawfish
13. Crayfish
14. Crawdad
15. Sneakers
16. Tennis Shoes
17. Gymnshoes
18. Running Shoes
19. Frosting
20. Icing
21. Frontage Road
22. Access Road
23. Service Road
24. Feeder
25. Bag
26. Sack
27. Poke
28. Soda
29. Coke
30. Pop
31. Soft Drink
32. Brew Thru
33. Beverage Barn
34. Party Barn
35. Roly Poly
36. Pill Bug
37. Sow Bug
38. Potato Bug
39. TP'ing
40. Toilet Papering
41. Rolling
42. Papering
43. Water Fountain
44. Drinking Fountain
45. Bubbler

Words and phrases can lead to a number of different thoughts. When they are used in poems they make the poem interesting. They can be good starters when suffering from an attack of Writers' Block.

It Rained

14 'Izzat 164 B.E. - Friday, September 21, 2007 about 8:20 AM PDT

I went out onto the covered patio to say prayers. As I was deep in meditation, I heard rain striking the tin patio roof. The cats heard it also, because two of them came out onto the patio and listened to it. One of them jumped onto the ledge and looked up at the roof, he didn't know what the noise was (it doesn't rain a lot in Las Vegas). The interesting thing about the rain this morning, it rained only in the back of the house and not in the front. I don't think I encountered that phenomena before.

Looking out the living room window, I can see the clouds covering the sky. I don't know how much rain we're going to receive today. I didn't look at the news this morning and we don't take a newspaper. All though, I'm considering buying one on Sunday for the T.V. guide and coupons. It will take me an entire week to read the Sunday paper anyway. The only other paper during the week that I'm interested in is the Saturday paper. Saturday is when they put in the religious section and sometimes that has intriguing and thought provoking articles.

I'm not interested in the editorial section because it's somewhat bias, all though the letters to the editor can be interesting and amusing. Most news, even local news I can get on line. In addition to local and national news I can find diverse opinions on national and international matters.

Someone is calling your name

Writing prompt for August 7, 2007 from yahoo group Daily Writing Prompts.

Someone is calling your name
the echoes are reverberating through the clouds
sending chill up your back
because you recognize the voice,
but can't place it;
can't associate a face or name with it.

Someone is calling your name
demanding that you pay attention
to the still small voice of reason;
demanding that you pay attention
to the gut feeling
that is your only link to ...
to what reality or something else all together.

Someone is calling your name
it echoes across mountains and valleys,
reverberates through cities and towns
causes the wind to move wheat in the fields
and snow to drift across the windshields of cars
on the express way.

Someone is calling your name
is it your mother's voice out of the past
calling you home to supper;
is it a lover's voice out of the present
calling you back to his embrace;
is it your own voice from the future
warning you of coming events.

Someone is calling your name
a voice you have heard before,
but can't place ... don't know from where it's calling
but someone is calling your name.

Writing Exercise Guidelines

13 'Izzat 164 B.E. - Thursday, September 20, 2007 about 10:30 AM PDT

Everything we go in life has guidelines or rules. Some of these rules are well known and practiced by everyone in a community, while others are of a personal nature and effect only the individual using them. Judy Reeves in A Writer's Book of Days (page 8) gives twelve guidelines for writing exercises. In this entry I've adopted those guidelines to blogging writing exercises rather than typing or penning them into an off line journal.

First an individual must continue to write, you don't stop for anything until the exercise is completed. You don't rewrite, you don't backspace (this is one of my problems), and you don't read what you've written until the end. In addition you don't worry about spelling errors or grammar problems, you just write.

Second, the writer must trust her/his pen. In the case of the blogger who types directly into the blog trust your fingers and your thoughts as your words mover across the page.

Third, the writer doesn't judge, criticize, compare, or analyze her/his writing. This is held until the rewrite.

Fourth, allow the writing to find it's own shape and form. It doesn't matter if you're writing a poem, story, essay, etc. As your fingers move across the keyboard (I'm referring to bloggers here) it will acquire a form that is suitable to the theme and subject of the piece, as well as, the blogger's state of mind.

Fifth, don't worry about anything as you enter the writing exercise. Grammar, spell, syntax and other writing rules are for formal entries and not writing exercises. Writing exercise, even in blogs, are warm up to the real work of composing. Writing and blogging like any other form of action needs warm up exercises. It's important to do a short warm up to wake the muse up.

Sixth, relax your expectations. This is an exercise and it should surprise you, even if it is composed directly into the blog you should learn something about yourself in the process. While it is true that blog entries are read by millions of people (I have my own questions about that). If you're worried about who will read your entry, then choose another exercise for the blog and keep an off line journal for those exercises that you feel are too personal or revealing to write online. Most people know themselves well enough to decided the difference between a writing exercise that's too revealing and one that's not.

Seventh, "Kiss the frog." This is practice, even if it's composed directly into a blog. A little common sense (something I sometimes suspect isn't as common as people claim) will help in choosing writing exercises that are appropriate for blogs. Every one should keep an off line and/or pen and paper journal to keep ideas in.

Eight, "Tell the truth." This is sometimes easier with an off line journal than a blog, but the writer must always be honest with her/him self. A reader will know if the writer isn't being honest, even when the writing covers genres of science fiction and fantasy.

Nine, pay attention to details. If you're describing a castle in the clouds make sure the description of both the castle and the clouds are accurate.

Ten, be passionate and write about what you care about. Even if the exercise itself doesn't appear to have much in common with your writing style or life experience find an approach that matters to you as an individual.

Eleven, after the practice session read what you've written aloud. One of the beautiful things about blogging drafts. The writing is saved as a draft, before publishing the post read it aloud to yourself. Of course, if you're creating your entry in a coffee house or library it might be a good idea to use a whisper or low voice so as not to disturb other people.

Twelve, put the topic and date at the top of the page, with blogs this isn't a big problem because if you forget the date the blog puts a date in and if you forget a title then the blog software will let you know.

In addition to these guidelines it may be a good idea for a blogger to put in the theme/subject and genre at the beginning of the entry or the end. This is just for the reader's information. In some cases it's easy to tell the difference between fantasy and science fiction, but in other instances it's difficult.

Finally, when posting to a blog do a spell check before saving the final draft or publishing the entry. This is important if you want your writing to be understood and sound logical (within the context of the piece). Just because you know what you meant with the misspelled word doesn't mean all your readers will know. And be gentle with yourself because everyone forgets to spell check periodically.

Hot Java

I read at the 9th Annual Ladies Poetry Night on Tuesday, September 18. The poems I read were all new and written in responses to prompts. My mother also read at that event.

At the reJAVAnate the large coffee is called a Java Junkie. I like that name for a large cup of coffee. The large cup Mom and I ordered was Cafe Mocha. That's our favorite type of coffee, when we go to coffee houses. I don't always order a Cafe Mocha, but last night was special. It's the first poetry reading either Mom or I read in, at least, the last six or eight months.

One of the poems I read was Caffeine Withdrawal. I've written at least two poems about going without coffee for several days or even weeks. I've also written several poems about drinking coffee. In fact, I think I'll do a little research on coffee and caffeine and write another poem.

I Finally Washed the Winter Coat

13 'Izzat 164 B.E. - Wednesday, September 19, 2007 about 7:57 PM PDT

I finally washed the winter coat that's been laying in the laundry basket since March. My mother put the coat in the blue laundry basket on March 12, the day I took her to the UMC Emergency Room at about 7:00 PM. By the time I returned home March 13 at 7:00 AM, I'd forgotten about the coat. By the time I remember the coat again, I was doing several loads of sheets a day and attempting to catch up on the rest of the laundry between driving back and forth from the hospital and Rehab center, where the took Mom after they released her from UMC.

I left the coat in the laundry basket all summer, after all I wasn't going to ware it. It was too hot for a coat, even if it was cold enough in the hospital to wear a heavy sweater. The coat laid in the basket all summer and the basket set in the breakfast room or whatever the room is called that's right next to the kitchen. I took the coat out of the basket this evening and put it in the washer. The coat has finished washer and I'm getting ready to put it in the dryer with a couple of fabric sheets.

The thing is, I'm not sure what to do with the coat after it's dried. The coat is too small for me to wear when I drive. I don't like tight cloths binding me when I'm in the car. I doubt that I'll wear the coat around the house this winter. In winter I usually wear sweaters or a couple of layers of clothing if the house gets too cold. Electricity is too expensive to keep the house at a comfortable temperature, so I keep the thermostat set fairly low in winter and high in summer. That way the central air doesn't come on very much during the day or night.

Mom may want the coat, in fact she could probably wear it better than I can. I could put the coat onto freecycle there must be someone out there that wants and can wear it. I need to get myself a new winter coat this year anyway. I haven't bought a new coat since 2000 and the coat I got then is just about wore out, besides I think it's got wool in it and for the past few years I haven't been about to wear wool next to my skin. I think the other coat is supposed to be dry cleaned, but I think I'm going to attempt washing it. Dry cleaning is just too expensive for a coat that old, which I'm probably going to rip up anyway and use for rags. All though it is getting colder, perhaps I can wash it and leave it at one of the homeless shelters. Perhaps I should take both coats to one of the shelters, which would solve the problem of what to do with them.

Too Much E-Mail

10 'Izzat 164 B.E. - Monday, September17, 2007 about 7:55 AM PDT

I have three e-mail address and my mother has one. I have too much junk and too many newsletters coming that I don't read and am not interested in anymore. I have to admit that some of the newsletters sounded interesting when I first subscribed to them, but now they've just gotten boring. Since I get most of my news off the Internet I'll keep the current and religious news newsletters, but I think I'll change them to the yahoo address. I also have writing newsletters coming, those I'll change to the intermind address. This is going to take about nineteen days more or less, probably more.

I've oversubscribed to newsletters and other items before. I strongly suspect the the more junk I unsubscribe to the more spam that's sent to my in box. Perhaps that's paranoid thinking, but it seems that way. Of course, it could be that the junk has just increased and I'm getting more of it. Most of the time I don't mind, if it's amusing or I can use the subject line in a poem. Lately, however, the junk is getting less amusing. Perhaps that's because I'm in the process of uncluttering my life and the junk just clutters my in box. Maybe I should have titled this entry Too Much Junk instead of Too Much E-mail.

Working on 101 Things to do in 1001 days

9 'Izzat 164 B.E. - Sunday, September 16, 2007 about 1:00 PM PDT

I've completed two of the things on my 101 Things to d in 1001 Days. The two iVillage course I completed last week, before the deadline. I completed one of them on September 13 and waiting until the last minute isn't a good idea. I've know this for sometime, but every now and then I wait until the last minute.

I bought a new mop. It's a spaghetti map. It's easier to use than a sponge mop, especially when getting up the hard spots from spilling stuff and the like. It still takes a little "elbow grease" to get up the difficult places, but it's a lot nicer to use then a sponge mop. The only problem I foresee is wringing it out. I have to do that by hand, which means I have to use rubber gloves when I'm mopping because I put bleach in my mop water. Actually I'm going to have to get some Pine Sole or something similar to put in the water. At this point, I'm using bleach and laundry detergent to mop the floor.

I'm finding some of the 101 things a bit difficult, but persistence will win out. I visualize myself as determined. Everyone should have a vision of themselves. Everyone should have one spiritual attribute that he or she wants to reflect to the world and mine is determination. I must admit that the determination sometimes becomes bull head stubbornness, but it does get stuff done.

My biggest problem in achieving my goals is my inner critic. All writers' have an inner critic, that voice in their head that tells them whatever they are writing is trash or junk and nobody will read it. The inner critic comes out in several ways and rears its ugly head when the writer gets depressed and is having difficulty with writing and anything else worthwhile in life. My inner critic seems especially persistence when it comes to goal. However, since I've achieved two of the goals I can with determination and patience achieve the rest.

Bad Writing Habit

8 'Izzat 164 B.E. - Saturday, September 15, 2007 about 12:20 PM PDT

I've noticed a bad writing habit lately. This is something I've always did, but it hasn't been an irritant until now. I backspace when I want the change a word, it's a bad habit and time consuming. It's unnecessary, even when I type a blog entry directly into the blog it's unnecessary. This blog and every blog I post to has a spell checker, which will catch most of the misspellings.

All right there are some problems that a spell checker won't catch. Some bad habits, such as using the passive voice need a grammar checker to catch. Wordiness in a sentence also needs a grammar checker. Sentence fragments sometimes needs a grammar checker, especially if you don't reread your post before publishing it, but those are problems that one can't worry about. The biggest problem, from my point of view and at this time in my life is misspelled words.

Even with a spell checker there are just some words that give you problems. Spell checkers aren't perfect they miss words. Grammar checkers aren't perfect either. The best thing for a writer to do is proof read and save the blog entry as a draft. The writer can print the draft out and read it over before actually posting it. Of course this takes time and perhaps it's too much to ask for or expect in a blog posting. I really don't know about that, I haven't even considered it before now and I'll have to think about it.

Right now my biggest problem is keeping myself from backspacing when I'm writing. For warm up writing exercises it's not important. Writing exercises are to get the muse involved in the process of creation. Writing exercises are to get the fingers moving and the brain engaged. They are necessary for daily writing, especially for writer's who want to eventually be published. That's one reason writing exercises are good posts in blogs, the get the brain engaged and the fingers moving. They also show where a writer needs improvement.

Does the writer have a problem with the passive voice or with wordiness? If so then the writer can copy and post the blog entry into a word processing file and find where she can improve. Does the writer have a problem with spelling? If the writer spells the word the way it sounds, then most spell checkers (I've found) can find a list of all the possible words. The problem with backspacing during a writing exercise is one the writer has to deal with and overcome on a daily basis. Blog posting help overcome that problem.

What Wants to Happen

7 'Izzat 164 B.E. - Friday, September 14, 2007 about 11:52 AM PDT

What wants to happen
is faith seeing through darkness
looking for the light of stars.

What wants to happen
is the light of distant stars
penetrating charcoal nebula
and encouraging faith.

What wants to happen
is faith breathing without lung
and seeing without light.

What wants to happen
happens when the soul believes
without doubt.

Warmed Over Coffee

7 'Izzat 164 B.E. - Thursday, September 13, 2007 about 9:05 PM PDT

I sip hot coffee
from a white mug,
black coffee warmed over in the microwave
brings back memories of morning.

Memories of the wind
blowing through olive and stone pine trees,
of the garbage truck moving slowly up Bracken Ave
and stopping at the waiting trash cans.

I sip strong black coffee
warmed over in the microwave
and remember my grandfather
as he sit at the kitchen table in my grandparents' house
in Blackwell, Oklahoma.

I learned to drink coffee the way Grandpa made it
strong and black;
I learned to warm it over in the microwave
when life refused me time
to consume an entire peculator of liquid
before forcing me to leave the house.

National Novel Writing Month

6 'Izzat 164 B.E. - Wednesday, September 12, 2007 about 8:20 PM PDT

The countdown has begun to NaNoWriMo, National Novel Writing Month. October 1 begins the sign up for NaNoWriMo which occurs in November. The goal is to write a 50,000 word novel in thirty days. It is possible, I know because I did it in 2005. I didn't in 2006, actually I didn't get any words written in 2006. All I remember about the novel was that it was a fantasy novel.

I'm signing up again this year, but I'm taking a different approach than the one I took in 2005 and 2006. In 2005 I wrote a 50,000 plus Science Fiction novel without planning. That was a big mistake now I have massive editing and rewriting to do. Of course, in 2005 I was dealing with a bout of insomnia, which I didn't have in 2006 so that may have contributed to the success.

This year I've signed up for the NaNoWriMists group on writing.com. Everyone in that group is writing a novel in November. I joined the group because I think the encouragement will help me complete the task. I'm not dealing with insomnia right now, but November is about a month and a half away.

I'll plan the novel in October, I do have an idea and a working title. I always give all my stories, poems and other creative efforts working titles. It helps me find the files after I've saved them. The working title is usually something that suggest what the piece is about, but doesn't give away the theme, subject or plot.

I'm looking forward to NaNoWriMo. I'd encourage anyone who ever wanted to write a novel to attempt in in November. To find out more about NaNoWriMo click on the title of this entry and it will take you to the web site.

Poem Titles

4 'Izzat 164 B.E. - Tuesday, September 11, 2007 about 6:34 AM PDT

I found the book Poetic Medicine: The Healing Art of Poem-Making, by John Fox. I've had the book for a while. I started reading it, because I underlined some phrases I thought would make good titles for poems. This will help me when my muse goes south and my inner critic decides to criticizes me.

I've found writers' block usually attacks when my inner critic is over active and my muse is on a vacation. At these times it helps to have a title or a poetic form in mind when writing. A poet or any writer can't write only when inspiration strikes. A writer must write everyday, rain or shine, electricity or no electricity. Writing only when inspiration strikes doesn't get any writing completed.

I think I'll start reading the book from the beginning rather than where I left off. Start from the beginning of the book and do the exercises as I go, makes more sense than anything else I can think of. The phrases for poem titles will be a big help, I'm working on a poem journal call 1001 Poem, so having a title already is helpful. Just because I use the title in the first draft of a poem doesn't mean it's going to stay that way. I always give my poem, stories, novels and essays working titles.

A Beautiful September Morning

3 'Izzat 164 B.E. - Monday, September 10, 2007 about 6:24 AM PDT

It's a beautiful September morning, the sun isn't quite up yet and the sky I can see out my living room window is white. I haven't been outside, so I don't know if the color of the sky is because there are clouds or because the sun is just over the horizon and hasn't risen yet.

I found out last night that it's easier to sleep in a chair in my own bed. I went onto the patio to say prayers and dozed off. I got up and went to bed, it took me longer to fall asleep in the bed then it did the patio chair. If I'm going to sleep on the enclosed patio, I'm going to have to get a chair that's more comfortable and that I can lay down on instead of sit up.

The sun is coming up now and the sky appears a bluish white. I'll have to go out side and look at it or read the weather report in my e-mail. I haven't gotten my mail from one of my accounts since either early Saturday morning or late Friday evening. Probably early Saturday morning, since Friday was completely full and I didn't have a lot of time to get online.

I think I'm going to have to set up a schedule because I don't seem to have a lot of time for anything. Today is another full day and I'll be on and off line all day. Between picking up food, going to the store, taking Mom to Quest for a blood test and picking up a toaster across town. I'm not sure what all I'll get done today. Tonight looks like an all nighter at something. That should work out since I don't think I have a lot of other stuff to do then, except find and check paper work.

I'm determined to get caught up with everything this week. Actually it's more than determination because I have a feeling I need to get caught up with everything this week. When I get these feeling I have to follow them. I've learned from experience that the gut feeling must be followed without question.

Three Upcoming Birthday Celebrations in My Life

I have three birthday celebrations coming up in October, November, and December. The celebration on October 31, commemorates my becoming a member of writing.com. I joined the writing.com community on October 31, 2002. I have remained a member, either a free or an upgraded member for five years.

In November I celebrate the declaration of my belief in Baha'u'llah. The Feast of Qawl (Speech) on November 23 was the first Feast I attended after my declaration. I've been a Baha'i for about 30 years. This is the most important of the three celebrations because it begin a new phase in my spiritual development. There were several events in my early life that lead to this declaration, but I'll discuss those in a later post.

On December 24, I celebrate my 61st birthday. 2007 has been a stressful year, I associate this stress with the birth process. So on December 24 I'm going to celebrate my birthday. I usually don't celebrate on that day, normally I commemorate my birthday either a week before or a week after. However, I think that this year the date of my birth should be the day I celebrate. I'm not sure what I'm going to do on that day, I just know I'm going to celebrate it.

An Interesting Thought About Faith and Darkness

2 'Izzat 164 B.E. - Sunday, September 9, 2007 about 2:53 PM PDT

I had an intriguing thought while making today's entry in my Gratitude Journal. Before I state the thought perhaps I need to give a little back ground. It's been a tough couple of days, a couple of dark days. The darkness of my present situation seems deeper, I feel like I'm in deep space surrounded by a dark nebula. No matter what direction I turn, I can't see light. This started Saturday, perhaps because I'm two days behind on everything, but I don't see how that could effect (or is it affect, I always have problems between those two words).

Now to today's Gratitude Journal entry: "Today I am thankful for the darkness that surrounds and hides the light from me because without light I must see through the eyes of faith. Faith sees without light and breaths without air. The only way to learn to walk by faith is in the darkness. This darkness will eventually pass. Rather than looking at the darkness, I must look for the light."

I'm a little better, things don't seem as hopeless. I can see a glimmer of light on the far horizon. A flicker of a distant candle shining in the darkness. Perhaps its just the eyes of faith that sees the distant light, but the light appears real. It seems to come a bit closer the more I focus on it.

Maybe I take the changes and chances of life too personally. Tests and difficulties are a part of material existence. The more I complain, the more difficult a situation becomes. The more I complain the deeper the darkness appears. Another interesting thought about darkness: The depth of the darkness foretells the brightness of the light. This entry is getting interesting, perhaps I should write a poem about both light and darkness, as well as faith and darkness. I'll have to think about that.

Two Day Behind

1 Izzat 164 B.E. - Saturday, September 8, 2007 about 11:08 AM PDT

My brother and his family were in town Thursday and Friday. We spent most of both day visiting them, which means I'm two days behind on everything. Today I'm focusing on getting the laundry, dishes and writing caught up. If I'm lucky I'll get two or three reviews done at writing.com. Multitasking is a bit of a problem sometimes because there are just certain things that can be multitasked without difficulty.

I can dry cloths and write at the same time because it take the dryer an hour to dry completely dry the sheets and towels. I can do dish and wash cloths at the same time because the washer is in the kitchen near the dish pan. I'm washing dishes by hand right now, because there is something stuck in the garbage disposal and I don't want to have to bail the dishwasher out again. Besides the washing machine isn't level and it moves when the cloths are going through the spin cycle unless I stand directly against it and prevent the problem. If I don't then I have to move the machine back into position after I empty it. A washing machine, even an empty one is heavy and does a number on my back.

I'm also drinking water as opposed to anything else today. The past two days I didn't drink enough water. I remember to take water for Mom with us when we went out, but not for me. Therefore, I'll drink a much water as I can even if it is out of the facet. Once the laundry is caught up I'll go to Albertson's and get a mop (all I have are sponge mops and they don't work properly), a new broom (unless the broom I have washes up decently) and either some Arizona Ice Tea or Soda. I haven't had soda in the house for two months. The only time I've drink soda is at the Feast.

My brother and his wife took Mom and I to the Flamingo Buffet on Thursday and Friday. The spread there was really nice, I don't know what they charge but it's worth the money. Especially the desert bar and the salads. Mom and I had coffee, Mom had water as well because she had pills to take. We enjoyed ourselves and I gave my brother the cast iron Saint Bernard bank that belonged to Mom when she was a child.

Last night Mom and I went to the Feast of 'Izzat (Might) at the Baha'i Center in Las Vegas. The Feast was wonderful, during the social portion they had soda, I drink Pepsi and Orange soda. It's been a long time since I had orange soda, I enjoyed it for a change. However, when I get the soda for home I'll either get Wild Cherry Pepsi or Dr. Pepper. I'm not sure which right now.

Feeling Good

18 Asma 164 B.E. - September 6, 2007 about 6:30 PM PDT

I'm feeling good. I'm not feeling stressed, which is interesting since I didn't get much of anything done today except visit with my brother, his wife and kids. Normally when I go out of the house and don't get done at home what is planned and necessary, I stress and worry. I'm not this time. Tomorrow Mom and I are going to spend most of the day with them as well. That's almost two days I've taken off this week and accomplished only relaxation.

You'd think I'd be a basket case by now with all the worry and stress that I usually go through, but I'm not. I finally came up with a tentative schedule for work and household chores. I'm giving myself five hours of a morning and five hours of an evening to accomplish the online income generating work. I'm not going to worry about starting the schedule until September 8, because of my brother's visit.

The housework I'll give myself the rest of the day to do. That includes laundry, dishes, cleaning etc. Since Saturday, September 8, is the 1 'Izzat I'll give myself nineteen days to evaluate the schedule and see how it goes. I may have to make adjustments, but I'll handle that when it comes. I worry too much, I sweat the small stuff too much, I'm working on this issue.

I noticed I haven't written much about writing issues in the past few days. I think I'll have to take care of that. This is supposed to be blog that covers writing issues as well as other matters. So I guess I should, at least, write a little something about writing. The truth is that I haven't looked at the daily writing exercises in a few days. It's about time I took a look at those and see what I can do with some of them.

An interesting experience making coffee

I had an interesting experience making coffee this morning. We have two coffee pots, one is the drip type and the other a percolator. I've used the percolator for the past month or so because I'm out of filters for the drip machine. This morning I put the water in, then I put the basket in and filled it with coffee. Instead of putting to top on the basket, which is necessary if you don't want a lot of grounds in your coffee, I put the lid on the pot and plugged it in. When I went to pour a cup I found out my mistake.

I didn't dump the coffee out, that would be a waste besides I don't mind grounds in my coffee. I learned to drink coffee from my grandfather, so a few grounds in the cup is natural for me. I'll warm the coffee from the first batch over in the microwave later this evening or tomorrow evening. I make a second pot today the proper way. This is the first time I've pulled this little trick. I guess I need to be more aware when I'm making coffee.

The most interesting thing about the incident, I didn't obsess over the mistake. This is a milestone, I'm starting to let go of the little things. Now if I could only manage to work out a schedule for housework.

In the Shadows

17 Asma 164 B.E. - September 04, 2007 about 8:50 PM PDT

I went to Albertson's this evening about 5:00 PM. I like to go to the store at that time because the parking lot, especially the handicapped spots, are shaded by the building. The car stays cooler when it's parked in the shade. There's not a lot of shade in Vegas, especially in parking lots. Ever since Mom got out of the hospital, we've had a handicapped placard to hang in the window. She uses either a wheel chair or a walker depending on how tired she is when we go to the store.

There are two grocery stores I can go to that have lots situated like that. One is the Ablertson's on the corner of Maryland PKW and Sahara. The other is the Food 4 Less on the corner of Eastern and Sahara. If I go the them at a certain time of an evening then the car sets in the shadow of the building. That way when we get back from the store it's cooler and the car is more comfortable when it's cooler.

Women's poetry night is on September 18, we'll be going to that one. I'd like to go to the one next week as well. Next week is an open mic, Remember 9/11. I still haven't come up with a poem yet, but the title In The Shadows sounds like it might work out. However, a title without a poem isn't much, still it has possibilities. I'm just not sure where to go from the title. When it comes to writing poems sometimes I start with a title and sometime I don't. I give all my poems and stories titles even if they are only working titles.

Today we finally got some chocolate chip ice cream. It's been a while since we had ice cream. Actually I think it's been two or three months. We still don't have soda in the house, but that's all right for a while. Mom said today she'd rather have Arizona Ice Tea then soda. I'm inclined to agree with her most of the time. We've had soda to drink, when we go to KFC to get chicken we get a meal that comes with soda, I usually get Dr. Pepper.

I feel like I've been in the shadows for a long while. We don't go out a lot. Usually go to Feast once ever nineteen days. However, with the exception of Men's Poetry Night last week we haven't been to a poetry meeting. There was a meeting at the reJAVAnate tonight, that we didn't go to. If we're going to go to open mic readings, I'm going to have to get cartridges for my printer. It needs both black and white and color. Normally the black and white runs out first, but this time I'm out of both.

Women's poetry night is on September 18. Next week on September 11 is an open mic called Remembering 9/11. Every year there is an open mic about 9/11. I've written two poem on the subject. I'd like to go to the one next week and I will if I can come up with a poem. I think I can read four poems, two before the break and two after. I can read the ones I've written, but I still need two more.

I also need to write new poems for women's night. I'm thinking about writing a new signature poem. I do have a signature poem, but things in my life have changed lately and I want a new one. One that reflect my present state of mind, my present spirituality.

Celebrating Labor Day

16 Asma 164 B.E. - September 03, 2007 about 9:20 PM PDT

It's labor day, the unofficial last day of summer. I celebrated appropriately. No I didn't go to a beach and watch medical waste or dead fish wash ashore. I did laundry, sheets mostly but some bath towels, wash cloths and pot holders. Washed and waited by the washing machine in the spin cycle because it's uneven and if I don't stand against it then it moves out of position. If I don't stand by it, then I have to move it back into position when I've taken the cloths out. Even empty the machine is heavy and it strains back.

I'm not complaining, standing by the washing machine in the spin cycle can be a spiritual experience. You just have to know how to make it spiritual. It's always good to have a prayer book or a scripture book there to read while the machine is spinning the cloths. You stand there and read a prayer or verse of scripture, then you meditate on what you've just read.

I don't think I'll do laundry tomorrow. I've got enough sheets to change all three beds, but I'll only change two. The third bed isn't being used, except as a catch-all and doesn't need changing at the moment. I'll change it when we're ready to use it. Right now my Mother is sleeping in a hospital bed that in the dining room. The dining room table is in the living room. There is a table in the dining room next to the T.V., but that table goes in the breakfast room, which is next to the kitchen and close to the washer and dryer.

We don't use the breakfast room for breakfast or any other meal. There is a couch in there, which I have to move back against the wall before I can put the table back in that room. Actually I should call it the telephone room because that's where the telephone is, but since I have a phone I can carry with me throughout the house the only part of the phone that is in that room is the part that recharges the battery.

Speaking of phone batteries, I have a tendency to let the battery go dead or almost dead before recharging it again. That isn't the case right now, but I plan on taking the phone to bed with me when and if I actually go to sleep tonight. I found out on thing, when the battery goes it cuts your phone call off. Of course, the only time it's did that lately is when I've called in a prescription, I get the meds in before the battery goes.

Happy 7th Birthday Writing.com

14 Asma 164 B.E. - September 2, 2007 about 6:30 PM PDT



This month writing.com is seven years old. I've been a member myself since October 2002. As a member of writing.com I've learned a lot about writing. My poetry and every other form of writing I do has improved. Membership in this writing community has given me the courage to submit my writing to different magazine and websites. I'm working on several different projects at the moment.



One of the projects I'm working on is a chapbook of my mystic poems called History of the Divine Feminine. The other is a book of flash fiction stories called Flashes of Lightning. Flashes of Lightning is composed of stories, 300 words or less, that I've submitted to the Daily Flash Fiction contest. This book isn't completed yet, but it will be sometime in 2008. I don't submit a story to that contest on a daily basis, but I do submit regularly.



An interesting feature about writing.com is the reviews. All the member are encouraged to review the writings of others on the site. The wonderful thing about this is that your stories, poems, or novels can be reviewed by both published and non-published authors. You get well round reviews in most cases. The majority of the reviews I've received were encouraging and helpful. Another interesting feature about writing.com is its content rating. The ratings begin with E for everybody and raise from there.



There are several levels of membership. You can get a free membership which allows about 10 pieces of writing in ones portfolio. Right now my membership level is upgraded, this allows 250 items in the portfolio. However, I'm going to raise my membership to premium level so that I can put more stories, poems, and novels in my portfolio. My handle on writing. com is Prosperous Snow. My blog, which is the second blog I've had on the site, is called Snow Melt. You can access my blog, which is rated 18+, at http://www.Writing.Com/authors/nfdabe/blog
and my portfolio at http://Writing.Com/authors/nfdarbe. If you want to access writing.com's website click on the title of this entry.