How do I say good-bye?

Kamál (Perfection), 7 Rahmat (Mercy), 165 BE – Monday, June 30, 2008 about 5:36 PM PDT

I went to the dentist today. I am going to have all my teeth pulled and a complete set of dentures put into my mouth. Actually I think the word the dentisted used, when he advised me concerning my teeth was "extracted".

I am going to have all my teeth extracted. I do not have very many teeth left in my mouth. I have 4 1/2 left in my lower jaw and about 10 or 11 left in my upper jaw. The dentist begins extracting them on August 6, 2008. For the first time in my life, I am looking forward to going to a dentist. For the first time in my life, I am looking forward to having teeth pulled.

How do I say good-bye to a set of old friends, which have been with me 61 years? How do I apologize to them because I did not take good care of them? I cannot apologize for not taking care of them; it is too late for that. I can only say good-bye.

How do I say good-bye? Do I write a poem or a story about them? Do I blog about the importance of keeping your natural teeth? I know what I am going to do with my new artificial teeth.

When I get my dentures, I am going to take them out for prime rib. Yes, I am going to celebrate getting my new teeth. I will go out, for the first time in over five years, with a full set of teeth and eat a prime rib dinner. I will have a baked potato, with sour cream and butter. I will have raw horseradish with the prime rib and I will have coffee.

The secret to tabbed browsing with a dial-up connection

I think I have finally figured out the secret to successful tabbed browsing with a dial-up connection. The secret is patience. I get the number of tabs I want, usually only two, but sometimes I work with three. Then I wait for the first website to load before putting in the address in the next tab. Do not attempt to load both websites at the same time, the connection cannot handle two websites loading at the same time.

I can work with two or three different website, as long as I am patient. If I get impatient and attempt to load both web pages at the same time my connection disconnects. Normally I do not attempt to work with more then three tabs at once. When you do not have DSL, you have to learn patience.

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Sometimes in the middle of a crowd

Jamál (Beauty), 6 Rahmat (Mercy), 165 BE – Sunday, June 29, 2008 about 2:20 PM PDT

Sometimes in the middle of a crowd,
I am lonely
looking for someone I cannot find
or for an item that cannot be found
in any mall
or shopping center in town.

It is at these times I retreat
into to solitude of prayer;
I withdraw
from the chaos of civilization
into the tranquility
of a garden
where I find hidden
between a bed of roses
and an olive tree
the one I was searching for.

I find the Eternal Beloved
in the tranquil solitude of nature;
the Beloved is everywhere,
if I could just see
beyond the chaos of crowd
to where He stands watching me,
but my loneliness blinds me
to His presence
until I am alone in prayer.

Once found,
the Eternal Beloved remains
with me
holding my hand
even in the middle of a crowd
where I was once lonely.

I am getting back into the swing of things

Jalál (Glory), 5 Rahmat (Mercy), 165 BE – Saturday, June 28, 2008 about 6:28 PM PDT

I am finally getting back into the swing of things. Review on writing.com, achieving my work count goals, writing poems that reflect the events in my life and spending $60.00 on groceries without complaining. I am still complaining about the gas prices, but that is different because the gas prices are the reason food prices are high.

I am finally getting back into the swing of things and the situation in my life is getting better. How do I know it is getting better? I bought three twelve packs of Dr. Pepper today. I have not bought that much soda in two years. All right, I am looking for anything that indicates my life and situation is improving. I think one of my problems is looking at the negative.

I am finally getting back into the swing of things and my attitude is improving. I am looking forward to taking my mother to poetry readings. I am looking forward to going to poetry readings. I do not even care about the gas it takes to drive to a poetry reading on the north side of Vegas when I live on the south side. I am looking forward to going back to work on July 1.

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A Writer's Discipline

Istiqlál (Independence), 4 Rahmat (Mercy), 165 BE – Friday, June 27, 2008 about 5:06 PM PDT

I encountered an interesting quote today while I cleaned out the folders in my e-mail box. Rachel Carson says: "The discipline of the writer is to learn to be still and listen to what his subject has to tell him." Many times, we do not consider stillness as necessary to writing. Stillness in this sense is sitting quietly and meditating on the subject of the story. At least, that is how I see it.

Until I read that quote, I never thought of meditating on the subject of a story. I meditate all the time, but I meditate on the sacred scriptures. However, meditating on the subject of a story or a poem helps overcome writers' block. It helps when you are stuck in the middle of a chapter without an idea about where to go next.

It takes discipline to sit and meditate on anything. One has to focus on the subject at hand whether it is a story or a verse from a holy book. Simply to sit quietly and listen to the subject is difficult. It takes discipline and practice. It is not something that you can do immediately and get it perfect the first time. However, if you are persistent and find a quiet place without distractions you can do it.

A writer can sit in front of his or her computer and listen to the subject. A writer can listen to the subject in a garden with a laptop or a pen and paper journal near by. Listen to the subject and then write what the subject tells you. Alternatively, I suppose you could sit in front of a computer and free write while you are listening to the subject.

I don't know what the problem was yesterday

Istijlál (Majesty), 3 Rahmat (Mercy), 165 BE – Thursday, June 26, 2008 about 5:48 PM PDT

I do not know what the problem was yesterday, but today my Internet connection seems to be holding. My browser is finding the websites I need without much trouble. I still get a DNS error message once in a while, not as often as I did yesterday though. I am happy with the way my browser and connection are working today.

Perhaps that should be on my Thankful Thursday gratitude list: Today I am thankful that my browser and Internet connection are working. It gets frustrating attempting to make a blog entry when you connection goes off into cyber space. It is working now so I will be happy about that.

I did learn on thing though, to save my blog entry every few minutes. That is, of course, something I should have known all ready but obliviously did not. Maybe it was not that I did not know it, I just did not think about saving while composing an entry. Sometimes I get so involved in the composition that I forget everything else.

Always remember to save in the process of creating, because it prevents a lot of frustration. It prevents having to remember what you wrote when your connection goes wonky. The draft can always be edited, but sometimes remember what you just wrote is difficult and next to impossible.

Patience is a Virtue

‘Idál (Justice), 2 Rahmat (Mercy), 165 BE – Wednesday, June 25, 2008 about 5:45 PM PDT

Patience is a virtue and extremely necessary when you are a writer with a dial-up connection. My connection has been a bit touchy lately. I am not sure why, but it is frustrating when I am working online and am suddenly disconnected. All right, perhaps part of it is my own fault because I use tab browsing and the dial-up connection does not seem to like that.

Another thing that is frustrating is when I am reviewing on writing.com and suddenly get disconnected in the middle of a review. Fortunately, I can store the review (if I think about it) and go back to it after reconnecting. My problem is, I never think about storing the review until I am disconnected and then it is too late. I get so involved in the story or the poem I am reviewing, that I forget about anything else.

I have not been patient person lately. I am not sure of the reason. I used to be patient or I used to think I was patient, but my patience seems to be wearing thin or non-existent. I recently got back on my thyroid meds, I thought for a while that was the problem. However, I am back on my meds and I am still encountering the problem with patience.

Perhaps getting DSL or a cable modem would solve the problem. It would solve the problem of slow download and upload time. It would solve the disconnection problem, but I am not sure it would solve the patience problem. I think I am just going to have to work on my patience and find a way to be more patient with technology.

I Think about Writing

Fidál (Grace), 1 Rahmat (Mercy), 165 BE – Tuesday, June 24, 2008 about 12:55 PM PDT

I think about writing
when dawn breaks above the eastern mountains
and the rays of morning penetrate my dreams
scattering the clouds concealing
the rainbow colored wings of muse
fluttering through my window.

I think about writing
I pick up my pen and jot down
the images of planets orbiting distant stars.

I think about writing
when I open my prayer book
and intone verses revealed by God's Glory;
I pick up my pen
and I write gratitude's meditations
as the blue scattered light of morning
transforms the new day.

I think about writing
as I sit waiting for a red light
to drop to green
knowing a miracle will occur
and I will remember the line
tip-toeing through my mind.

I think about writing
as I watch the evening sun descend
behind the mountains of tomorrow.

I think about writing
and I sit down at a computer terminal
and make a blog entry.

I think about writing
as I open a box of macaroni and cheese
and contemplate the possibilities
of adding ground turkey
or sliced honey baked ham.

I think about writing
as I put $30 of gas in my tank
knowing that there is no way that amount of gas
will fill my Toyota up.

Too much e-mail

Kamál (Perfection), 19 Nur (Light), 165 B.E. – Monday, June 23, 2008 about 6:52 PM PDT

Too much e-mail and it is my own fault. I cannot blame the spammers this time because I have not downloaded the e-mail since Thursday. Somehow, I have gotten out of the habit of downloading my e-mail everyday. If I download everyday then I can keep on top of it, but this last week or two have been busy. I know that is not an excuse, rather it is a statement of fact.

If I download the e-mail everyday, I do not have a problem. Most of what I get is spam anyway. I glance at the subject line, if it looks interesting and does not refer to any body parts, then I read it; otherwise, I delete the messages. I get more spam then important e-mails anyway. In fact, I get so much spam that I normally just mass delete the junk or spam folder. Sometimes I look at the message subject lines to see if it is something I want to read.

I am going to have to unsubscribe to several newsletters I do not have time to read any more. When I subscribed to them, I had time on my hands and could read them, now I have more work to do then time. I do not have more money then time, but I have more work.

My internet connection is being difficult

Jalál (Glory), 17 Nur (Light), 165 B.E. – Saturday, June 21, 2008 about 5:13 PM PDT

My internet connection is being especially difficult this afternoon. I am not sure, what the problem is, other then I have a telephone hook up. I have lost the connection several times today and it takes a few minutes to get it back. The connection problem does make blogging and working on line interesting.

When the connection does this I make sure I save every few minutes while making a blog entry. I learned this from experience. If I do not save then I loose most of my entry, when I loose an entry I have to start over again and I never write the entry the same as the first time I made it. I suppose I could write it before getting into the blog, but that would be double work and time consuming. Unfortunately, I do not have the time spend on double work.

I can edit a story without considering it double work, but making a blog entry is different. Today I got a late start anyway. I do not know why I could not get going this morning, I got up early and I took the trash out before 7:00 AM, but I just could not make myself sit down and blog. I got a lot of work done around the house. I changed the cat litter and put fresh scoopable litter in the pans, but I just could not seem to get to writing.

Now I am getting irritated at the way the connection is yo-yoing. There is no reason for me to get irritated because there is nothing I can do about the connection, but I am getting irritated anyway. I am going to have to get DSL, at least that would help with some of the connection problems and the slow down/uploading.

I have thirteen days off

‘Idál (Justice), 14 Nur (Light), 165 B.E. – Wednesday, June 18, 2008 about 6:44 PM PDT

I have thirteen days off, summer school begins on July 1 and I go back to work. I am not sure how much writing or housework I can catch up on, but I'm going to attempt to do both. I have thirteen days to figure out a schedule that will allow me to write and do housework. The past couple of weeks were hectic because my mother went into the hospital again. She did not stay in very long, but she is still in the healing process and unable to do a lot of housework.

It is summer now and getting hot in Las Vegas. That means I may be doing a lot of my online work early of a morning and late at night. This leaves the daytime hours, to do housework. I am not much for doing housework at night anyway. I use the long lasting light bulbs and they do not give very much light. I do not know how much I can get done between June 19 and July 1, but I am going to make an attempt at getting everything done.

By everything I mean I am going to make a list of housework and writing goals. Then I will make a time schedule in which to do them. True, in the past, I have stressed because I did not get everything on my list accomplished. However, this time I am prioritizing the items on the list. I have thirteen days to see how this works.

I am back to blogging

Jamál (Beauty), 11 Nur (Light), 165 B.E. – Sunday, June 15, 2008 about 4:22 PM PDT

I am back to blogging. I took Mom to the urgent care last Sunday and they sent us to the hospital. The hospital admitted Mom and she remained in Valley until Thursday evening. She had something removed from her leg and now has a hole in her leg. A nurse comes in everyday to change the dressing.

When she they released from the hospital the doctor prescribed pain pills. When they remove the bandage, it hurts. She gets a pain pill a half hour before they remove the dressing. It helps a little. I am back to blogging. Mom is back home, but she is sleeping in the hospital bed. She wants to sleep in her own bed, but she cannot do that until after her leg is healed. Today the nurse said the wound looked good and was not infected.

Before Mom went into the hospital, I made a list of topics to blog about. So starting tomorrow, June 16, I will write about some of those topics. I am not sure yet which one I will blog about first, perhaps gas prices. All though with Mom home and feeling better gas prices do not seem as urgent as before she went in this time. Still the topics I listed are good and so I think I will write about them.

I did not stop writing all together when Mom went into the hospital. I wrote poems, but that is about all. Sometimes writing stops entirely when confronted with a crises, however lately I continue to write poems while confronting a crises.

Write Week 5 Day 7

Jalál (Glory), 3 Nur (Light), 165 B.E. – Saturday, June 7, 2008 about 4:25 PM PDT

Write week 5 Day 7 I have not posted since Day 2 (June 2). I have written in my pen and paper journal, but I have not posted anything to any of my blogs. I have on excuse. My writing has consisted of poems.

I came up with the idea for a list poem on Friday. It is a list love poem (that is the working title I wrote in my pen and paper journal). It is not a bitter love poem (I usually write bitter love poems). Here is what I have so far ...

List Love Poem

You are the pearl in oyster;
the chocolate in my coffee;
the grape jelly on my hot cakes;

(I want to write a poem that tells exactly how I feel about you.)

You are the gas in my Harley-Davidson;
the rhyme and meter in my poems;
you are the prayer in my chapel;
the gold in my mine;
the Wild Cherry in my Pepsi;
the French vanilla ice cream on my rhubarb pie;
you are the split pea in my soup;
the mushroom in my pasta sauce;
you are the bacon in my BLT;
the onion on my liver;
the laughter to my jokes;
the spots on my Dalmatian ...

Please note I have neither a Harley-Davidson nor a Dalmatian, all though if I had a choice I would take the Harley-Davidson. My only explanation for the food references in the poem is that I was hungry at the time. I really have to start eating more for breakfast then coffee.

Write Week 5 Day 2

Kamál (Perfection), 17 ‘Azamat (Grandeur), 165 B.E. – Monday, June 2, 2008 about 5:24 PM PDT


It is write week 5 day 2 and I am so tired I cannot think. Maybe if I write some notes about the story it will help. I could ask some questions as well. I do not think asking questions is going to help me because the problem is lack of concentration and memory.

I do not remember what I intended with the story. It could be lack of planning as well. I approached this story without a plan and that was a mistake. It is a short story and that takes a little planning. All right then let me start at the beginning and work from there.

What type of story am I writing? The story's beginning suggests it is a mystery. The problem is I normally do not write mysteries. I write science fiction or fantasy. It could be a mystery within a science fiction story. You see what I am getting at, a writer has to start with a plan. A writer has to know what type of story he or she is writing.

Before even beginning a story six questions have to be answered. A writer needs to answer (1) Who, (2) What, (3) When, (4) Where, (5) Why, and (6) How. If I do not answer those questions there is no story and the writer gets nowhere fast. Therefore, starting at the beginning, which I should have did before the first week in June; I need to answer those six questions. I do not have to begin with the "Who" question, I can start with any one of the six, but I do have to answer them before I can get any where with this story.

Apparently, Write Week 5 for me is going through the planning stages of a story instead of writing the story. I do not think that was the original intention of Write Week. The intention was to write a complete story in 5,000 words. To do this one needs to plan the story before the first of the month. Oh well, sometimes doing a project in a different order gets the adrenalin flowing.

Have a Happy Write Week.

Write Week 5 Day 1

Jamál (Beauty), 16 ‘Azamat (Grandeur), 165 B.E. – Sunday, June 1, 2008 about 9:33 AM PDT

This is the first day of the fifth write week. I did the first week back in February 2008, but have not participated since. I am participating this week and hope to continue the practice the rest of the year. However, I am going to take this one day at a time and attempt to write 5,000 words by June 7. For more information see thewriteweek.com.

To complete 5,000 words in 7 days I have to write about 714 words a day. I am going to start the piece here and the copy it to a word document. It is after 9:00 AM in Las Vegas and I still have to go to the store and get gas today, not necessarily in that order. I am not sure about the working title of the story yet. All I know right now is that I have to start something today.

*********

"There just isn't enough time," Lora said tossing the file on her desk and walking to the small fridge against the west wall.

"Not enough time for what, Lora," said Case watching his sister remove a soda from the fridge and walking back to her desk.

"To complete the Baker assignment," she opened the soda and sit down. "Mrs. Baker wants everything on her desk Friday morning. Her daughter and son-in-law won't be back from their honeymoon until late Thursday or early Friday."

"Go to wherever they're honeymooning and talk to them., Sis."

"I would love to, Case, but no one knows where they went."

"What do you mean, didn't they go to Paris?"

"That was the original plan, but Mrs. Baker's daughter sent an e-mail to her and the rest of the board members saying they changed their minds. However, she never said where they were going."

"Didn't they take a commercial flight?"

"No," Lora frowned as she leafed through the file, "they took one of the corporate jets to Orlando and then left it with the pilot there. He had no idea where they were going."

"Sounds to me like they didn't want anyone to find them."

"That sounds logical, especially after some of the stuff I found at their apartments."

"What'd you find, Sis?"

"The boxes I brought back are in the vault, Case. Go in, check them out and let me know what you think."

*********

Maybe I will call it a Matter of Time, that would make a good working title.