Thoughtful Thursday: An Afternoon Nap or a Real Bed

I'm tired and I cannot seem to focus long enough to write a story or a poem. I can managed blog entries, but anything else seems to elude me. I ether have to begin taking afternoon naps or get a real bed to sleep in. Right now, I am sleeping on a love-seat, which is not conducive to a good night's sleep or even a short rest.

I stopped sleeping in a bed when I became my mother's caregiver in 2007. I started sleeping on the couch and then I moved to the love-seat. I tried sleeping in a bed in December of 2012, after my mother's death, but I could not sleep because of the waking up in pain. Since sleeping on a couch caused less pain then the bed, I moved to the couch.

When I moved to this studio apartment, I moved the love-seat instead of the couch because the of the size. I have not been sleeping well lately and it is effecting my focus and my writing. I do not have writer's block because I can still make blog entries; however, that is all I have made this week. I wrote a poem last week, but this week I am having problems focusing.

I suppose the problem could be something else, like writer's constipation. If that is the case, then sleep is not going to make much difference. I think I will try something new tonight perhaps reading or saying some different prayers. I usually say the same prayers every evening without considering finding prayers that I have not said in a long time. My prayer book has numerous prayers that I have not look at in a while. I will try that tonight and see if my focus improves.

The Way to Tell a Good Day from a Bad Day

Sometimes it is difficult to determine if a day is going to be good or bad. I got up before dawn this morning and the sky was still dark velvet black. As the slipped above Sunrise Mountain, the sky transformed from silk ebony into a cloud gray blanket. I did not know then whether the sky was actually cloudy or clear.

I wrote two poems this morning about dawn, so I know it is going to be a good day. It does not matter what happens the rest of the day because I wrote two poems. Everyone needs to have hope when a day begins. We all look for omens to tell us how the day is going to progress.

I know today, Monday, April 20, 2009 will be a good day because of two things, which occurred this morning. First, I said my morning prayers before sunrise. Second, I wrote two poems. True the poems were short, but I completed them before dawn and one of them mentioned coffee.

Those are the things that this writer uses to determine if the day goes good or bad. Prayers cause the day to progress smoothly. Poems commemorate the passage of the day. Everyone needs to have hope renewed each day, so the individual must determine for him or herself how to find that hope to continue living for another day.

Writing about Dawn on September 11

It is Thursday, September 11, 2008; I woke up between 3:00 and 3:00 AM this morning. Not as early as I usually wake up, but early enough to be awake when dawn arrives. The arrival of dawn to Las Vegas always brings memories with it. Sometimes those memories are of my childhood and my grandparents. Sometimes those memories are of religious services or other events.

This morning I am remembering dawn on another September 11. Then I worked at a college computer lab in Henderson, Nevada; not a difficult commute from Las Vegas. I remember the alarm clock sounded at 4:00 AM. I got up, turned the alarm off, made coffee, run a bath and contemplated turning on the morning news. Instead, I opted to say morning prayers. I had to be at work about 7:30 or 8:00 AM that morning, so I decided it would be the evening news I watched that day.

I did not find out about the twin towers until I arrived at work. There was no T.V. in the computer room, but that did not matter because we had Internet access. If you have Internet, access a T.V. is not necessary. We kept one of the computers on a news website all day, I am not sure of the website because I was more interested in the news itself that day.

This morning I remember another September 11 dawn. I remember driving to work and hearing the shocking news when I arrived at my job site. I remember receiving the news over the Internet. I remember writing a poem, which was published in a chapbook of 9/11 poems. I remember dawn on September 11.

An Experiment in Prayer

Kamal (Perfection), 8 Sharaf (Honor) 164 B.E. - Sunday, January 6, 2008 about 8:21 PM PST

This is the first in a series of Spiritual Sunday essays. I am writing these essays from personal experiences taken from the 61 years of my life. I turned 61 on December 24, 2007.

I read an article once about a man who tried an experiment with prayer. He would say prayers for a while and then he would stop praying. When he stopped praying his life situation got worse. At the time I read the article, I thought that it was an interesting experiment, but not one I intended to attempt.

I have always believed in prayer so trying an experiment like that did not appeal to me. My own experiment in prayer began inadvertently. My prayer life had gotten to the point where I just said the prayers. I did not focus on the prayers I said or the way they made me feel during and afterwards.

When my mother went into the hospital last year, I began focusing on the prayers. I focused on one prayer in particular. That was the Long Healing Prayer revealed by Baha'u'llah. When I read that prayer, for my mother, I focused on the words and on the spiritual feeling that accompanied them. The lesson I learned was to focus on the prayer, even if I know the prayer by heart I still need to focus on it.

It's a good day when

8 Qawl 164 B.E. - Friday, November 30, 2007 about 11:14 AM PST

It's a good morning when
the aroma of roasted hazel nut coffee brewing
warms the chill of a rainy autumn morning.

It's a good day when
the sound of rain on the patio's aluminum roof
accompanies the sound chanted prayers.

It's a good day when
the clouds that hide the sun
don't deflect from the joy of waking up.

It's a good day when
the patter of rain drops on the cement drive
reminds you of angels singing carols.

It's a good day when
your mood is a reflection of your desire
for the Beloved.