One Word Wednesday: Depression

This morning I'm fighting a battle with depression. I woke up in a dark mood and begin descending into the pit of depression. I pushed forward. I said my prayers, took my thyroid medication, opened the front door, made coffee, and turned on the computer. I logged into writing.com, made a blog entry called Blue Rain about the depression I'm facing, read a couple of the newsletters, made myself a bowl of cereal, and did some review.

The morning progressed and the sun rose above Sunrise Mountain. I'm feeling less depressed. I'm not terrified of a panic attack, which sometimes occurs when I'm deep in depression. I can feel the clouds of darkness around the edges of my mind. I know that the blue rain of depression is just waiting to slip up without warning and overshadow the joy of today. I can't let that happen because I won't accomplish anything. I have to win today's battle with depression.

Surviving depression is a daily battle. It's pushing forward when all I want to do is sit and stare into space. It's saying prayers and writing. It's doing housework and lugging the trash to the alley. It's reaching out and calling someone instead of waiting for someone to call me.

Today I can push forward, work, pray, go to the grocery store, and smile. Tomorrow I may not be able to do any of those things because the depression will hold me back, but I will deal with that tomorrow. I have to focus on what I can do today and not worry about what I may not be able to do tomorrow. Today I will find something to smile and laugh about. Today I will let tomorrow take care of itself.